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the prophecy

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6 comments, last by brainchild 22 years ago
The Prophecy The story begins with a cg animation of Adam’s mother and father being killed (non-graphic). Adam tries to save them, but can’t. The murderer disapears, wearing a cloak and a pointed hat, obviously a wizard. Suddenly a child appears. He is malnurtured and is covered in rags. You can easily see his bones in his cheeks and ribs. He identifies himself as the Skull Child, and tells the story of his own parent’s deaths by the hands of the wizard. “He killed Mom and Dad just as he did yours. Afterwards I had no one to live with or love. So part of me died. I am dead phisicaly and I’m fully alive emotionaly. I am in search of the wizard, and you may want to help me, to avenge your parents death.” Adam excepts his offer and they become a team. They go to see the King, to find out more. The King identifies the wizard as Stephony Helwim. “Yes, he is up to much more than killing your parents. He has a reason for it. You see he wants to take over the world, of course. However both of you have decended from once powerful kingdoms. Both of you have warriors’ blood in you. He did not kill you two though, for he thought that two mear kids would be nothing. Of course two children like your selves wouldn’t be able to change the destiny of a planet. However, you must try or your parent’s deaths will be in vain, and the world will be taken over by the wizard. I would get help else where, but if I did my whole kingdom would go into panic knowing they were all about to die.” The two of them accept the offer and start a search for Stephony. But the king adds some more advice “Stephony is carefully guarded by nine spirits. Each one has thier own dungeon. Once you defeat the dungeon of the monster, his spirit dissapears. Once all nine die, the wizard will be open to attack, but still very powerful.” So the two head off towards the first temple and defeat it. Once done with the temple they venture to a near by town. In the middle of one of the streets a young girl is being harrassed by two punks. Adam and Skull Child take on the two guys, and defeat them. The girl wasn’t very apriciative, and she tells Adam she could have beet the two guys herself if she wanted. Adam and Skull Child exchange grins. “ We don’t think so.” So then she shows them a useful technique called Swift Strike. The two boys are wowwed. “See I told you so,” she says. So they ask her her name. She tells them its Marie Gilmore. Adam then asks her if she would like to join their team. She agrees. They then defeat the second and third temples. Suddenly, a guy appears, wearing a large sword around his body. He challenges Adam to a duel. Adam declines, but is forced into it for his life. After a while of battling, Adam knocks the kid down. The guy then says “Stop, that’s enough. That’s all I wanted to know. You truly are legendary, I wanted to know if you were as good as they say you are. Do you mind if I join you on this adventure you have decided to take?” Adam figures the guy is all right and lets him join the group. The kid tells him that his name is Tek McKay. They venture through all the temples killing spirits, finishing temples, collecting items etc. A funny thing is happening at the same time though. Skull Child is beginning to look alive. He has more flesh than before and looks… real. He is starting to phisacly live because he isn’t always as sad anymore. Adam and Marie are kinda growing close as well. And, Adam and Tek are becoming best friends. They keep completing temples until the end of the seventh. The seventh temple boss destroys skull child. Adam grows angry, and very easily kills the boss, with one attack. He runs over to skull child, and skull child says, “Please finish this adventure for our parents and for the world, if you do not then there was no reason in my death here. You were more than a friend, you brought life back to me. Than…”and Skull Child dies. They roughly get through the rest of the temples, and kill the spirits. The three finaly get to the final tenth temple where the Wizard is. However, a weird thing happens. All nine spirits are there. Adam, Tek, and Marie have to beat all nine consecutively to get to Stephony. Adam states that the king must have been wrong, but the sucky thing is there was no reason at all to go through all the temples if the spirits lived anyhow. They have no choice but to try and beat all nine. They get all the way to the seventh, the same one who killed skull child, and the boss kills Tek. Adam runs to the boss stabbing him consecutively time and time again, making sure this time the boss dies. Adam runs back over to Tek, but he’s already dead. Adam is raged, and all Marie does is cry. They easily defeat the next two bosses, because of thier anger. They get to the wizard and he begs them to listen to him. “ I did not kill anyone – I – I promise. It was the king I swear!” But Adam kills Stephony. Suddenly the King appears laughing hiddeously. “HAHAHA. Thanks boy, I knew that a legend like you could complete this task for me. I now have complete control over the world!” Adam stands there petrified. “what- but- how- he- he was telling the truth wasn’t he?” The King replies, “Yes, and to demonstrate the power you have given me I will kill her.” He points to Marie and she falls to the floor dead. Adam yells, “NNNOOO!!! I WILL NOT TAKE THIS.” He runs towards the King with his sword in hand ready to stab him. However suddenly there is a sound of Adam’s mother. Adam wakes up. Yet, he is just a baby, one day old. To be continued… Prolouge: What if you lived your life twice; once in a dream, and once in reality. You would know exactly what would happen and when, but you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. People you loved would die, and you would know when, and see it happen, but you couldn’t help it. You would relive the nightmare again.
So what if I'm 13, I can still code better than like 95% of Americans, and probably 99.9% of the people in the world. Whoa, I feel proud.
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Can yall give us some suggestions for this game? Do you like it? etc.
So what if I'm 13, I can still code better than like 95% of Americans, and probably 99.9% of the people in the world. Whoa, I feel proud.
just a small point how do two kids get to meet the king?, wouldn''t it be more realistic if they petitioned or something like that, not to the king but to more of a mage''s circle type thing. Kings arn''t always that smart and a gathering of mage''s would be more likely to identify a rogue wizard
Very dramatic.

Are you going for the console RPG angle here? If so, you might need to make things a bit more complex. Everything happens too smoothly. They''re told everything they need to do to get to the wizard. Maybe a few tangental plots would help.

Also, it''s not clear where the game actually begins? What is the background of Adam, for example? Fill in some details of the world they live in. What are these nine spirits? Of what lands is the King king?

Be careful not to build your story too much around a few dramatic moments (like the death of a main character). Think about some more mundane aspects and make them more interesting.
i dunno, its good, but a little cliche

"Luck is for people without skill."- Robert (I Want My Island)"Real men eat food that felt pain before it died."- Me
Hey thanx, I''ll definitely take all these opinions into consideration. And yeah it is a console rpg. This is a very basic plot, not very developed so I hope to add more soon. Thanks for the tips.
So what if I'm 13, I can still code better than like 95% of Americans, and probably 99.9% of the people in the world. Whoa, I feel proud.
The idea of a game which is ''all a dream, or is it...?'' is very cool.

You might want to rethink Skull Child''s name though.

Richard "Superpig" Fine - saving pigs from untimely fates - Microsoft DirectX MVP 2006/2007/2008/2009
"Shaders are not meant to do everything. Of course you can try to use it for everything, but it's like playing football using cabbage." - MickeyMouse

A great starting point.

You should have a look at the following page, though:
http://atrocities.primaryerror.net/rpgcliches.html

Maybe, it gives you some additional inspiration.

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