I think it could be pretty interesting, but runs a real risk of becoming way too new age and touchy-feely. I''m much more interested in the hot chick, the dangerous cult, and the afterlife, and not at all interested in Dafone resolving his early childhood issues.

BOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!

I think the story could be good, but It''s missing something, just can''t put my finger on it. BTW, what type of game is it? I would go with a puzzler in the same vein as Myst (Just not as bad) personally.

not bad, i think the part about sorting his life out is a bit uninteresting, unless it involves seeking out revenge from beyond the grave to avenge the death of a close friend/family member.

oh and why is he trying to piece together the crazy cult ladys life?

but yea sounds like a good idea


[edited by - EnigmaZ on January 21, 2003 5:47:30 AM]

First off, consider what media you are writing for. I can assure you as a screen-write and a Game developer there are very different aspects you have to focus on depending on the method by which you are presenting your production to your audience. Your character information is solid. No doubt there, however, this is far from any sort of plot. I only wish to bring this to your attention before you spend too much time on one side of the story. Although you have a good set of fundamentals for one character you have to realize that there is more outside of a good story than just one character which is what makes games like FF such a horrible series (yes, 7 too, If I offend somebody too bad.) If you ever pick up any decent book, by Tom Clancy for instance you will notice that there is more in the story than just one characters point of view. Sometimes there are perhaps 3 main characters who''s wieght in the story is distributed evenly throughout the plot. This is not to say that you need 50 main characters because it will just make your plot very thin very fast. What you should be focusing on #1 yoru characters, they make the sotry move, #2 your world, what happens there, what kind of food do they eat? do they eat choclate based dishes or is that their weakness (Please no death by water GGAAAAHH SIgns....). Know the world in which the characters operate, when teh story starts everything should be good/bad/sadistic whatever. The world should be the opposite or some derivitive thereof of what the story will become. If you are fighting the evil deathadder, everything in the world should be good.Then when you introduce your characters, thats when the shadow begins to creep over and the story begins to take shape. Anyway my time is running short....

Long story short, work on major elements first. Then start working on plot. Aeris''s death is a lot more touching when you know that she and Cloud had a thing going on. SAme with any other part of the story, if you as story writer know more about your world before you start setting things inmotion, you will have that much more meat to talk about as you go through the torture of writing.


BTW: Ignore any cheap shotted comments that are made agaisnt you. Writing is a very difficult task to undertake and I enjoy seeing people take the challenge. Redirect and structure your efforts and Im sure you will do well.

~ V. Chao Sake - Screen Write / AI developer Phalt earth soft