🎉 Celebrating 25 Years of GameDev.net! 🎉

Not many can claim 25 years on the Internet! Join us in celebrating this milestone. Learn more about our history, and thank you for being a part of our community!

Can I get some critique on this story idea?

Started by
7 comments, last by iancheshire 21 years, 1 month ago
Well I wrote this like 5 min ago. Its just an idea I had for a mod. If anyone likes it and would like to help me work on it let me know. As you can tell the story needs A TON of freakin work and I would be willing to work on it with some people. Main Character: James Davis – CIA Agent Year: 2005 Locations: Moscow, Washington DC, European city, Russian City Enemies: Combine Soldiers *Ex-Russian Soldiers*, Special Operations Soldiers *Ex-Russian Spetsnaz* A rogue general of Russia has stolen a Nuke and is threatening Moscow with it. You have been sent to a remote European city to gather intelligence on this rogue general and his large backing of soldiers and possible politicians. James Davis: Born July 14, 1978. Lived in Seattle, WA until he graduated from the University of Washington in 2000 when he applied for a job at the CIA. He was accepted and worked low-level jobs for over 3 years before becoming a field agent at the age of 25. Having been a field agent for 2 years now he is working his biggest case/mission to date. The stand off in Russia is very grave. Some character descriptions - Ruslan Matichev – Born February 2, 1950. Lived in Moscow until he was 16 when he moved to Leningrad. Went into the military at a young age and has been in his whole adult life. He slowly moved up the ranks until he gained the rank of General. He was stationed at a remote nuclear missile silo in Eastern Russia along with a brigade of soldiers. He is pro-communism and has been trying to get a communist government reinstalled for the past 14 years (since the fall of communism in Russia). He has many ties with high-ranking politicians in Moscow and also with many Spetsnaz soldiers. The grave economy in Russia has left many scientists and soldiers looking for any way to get money and Mr. Matichev plans on exploiting this. George Nikolai – Born November 19, 1946. Born in the United States to a father and mother who were Russian immigrants and moved to the United States after World War II. Mr. Nikolai lived in Washington DC all his life and got into politics after attending Yale University. He became...
Advertisement
....a firrst class toilet attendant?
quote: Original post by iancheshire
Well I wrote this like 5 min ago. Its just an idea I had for a mod. If anyone likes it and would like to help me work on it let me know. As you can tell the story needs A TON of freakin work and I would be willing to work on it with some people.

Main Character: James Davis – CIA Agent
Year: 2005
Locations: Moscow, Washington DC, European city, Russian City
Enemies: Combine Soldiers *Ex-Russian Soldiers*, Special Operations Soldiers *Ex-Russian Spetsnaz*

A rogue general of Russia has stolen a Nuke and is threatening Moscow with it. You have been sent to a remote European city to gather intelligence on this rogue general and his large backing of soldiers and possible politicians.

James Davis: Born July 14, 1978. Lived in Seattle, WA until he graduated from the University of Washington in 2000 when he applied for a job at the CIA. He was accepted and worked low-level jobs for over 3 years before becoming a field agent at the age of 25. Having been a field agent for 2 years now he is working his biggest case/mission to date. The stand off in Russia is very grave.

Some character descriptions -
Ruslan Matichev – Born February 2, 1950. Lived in Moscow until he was 16 when he moved to Leningrad. Went into the military at a young age and has been in his whole adult life. He slowly moved up the ranks until he gained the rank of General. He was stationed at a remote nuclear missile silo in Eastern Russia along with a brigade of soldiers. He is pro-communism and has been trying to get a communist government reinstalled for the past 14 years (since the fall of communism in Russia). He has many ties with high-ranking politicians in Moscow and also with many Spetsnaz soldiers. The grave economy in Russia has left many scientists and soldiers looking for any way to get money and Mr. Matichev plans on exploiting this.

George Nikolai – Born November 19, 1946. Born in the United States to a father and mother who were Russian immigrants and moved to the United States after World War II. Mr. Nikolai lived in Washington DC all his life and got into politics after attending Yale University. He became...



It''s good. It has a lot of elements that have been seen before, and that may hurt it. I also think it will not make a big enough game. I don''t see all that many levels that are relevant to the plot and the realistic direction this character would take.

Addy

Always without desire we must be found, If its deep mystery we would sound; But if desire always within us be, Its outer fringe is all that we shall see. - The Tao

I''d be interested in that. I''ve got a few offers but I really want to do a military type script. I''ve got decent military knowledge (weapons, procedures, ranks etc) which i could integrate. you email me, k?.

Kyle Evans,
Artificial entertainment [Movie/Game Reviews]- Define reality...
Contact: kyser3152@yahoo.com.au
Cheers, comrade Kyle Evans,Artificial entertainment [Movie/Game Reviews]Contact: kyser3152@yahoo.com.au
Id also be interested in helping out, especially with the coding and animation. E-mail me at scottwallace147@hotmail.com
Aren't these "american-one-man-army-vs-russian/arabic-terrorist-plots" getting a bit old? Personally I'd think it would be much more interesting if you had an chinese agent that's up against crooked american politicians with illusions of grandure.

[edited by - Kiyoko on May 19, 2003 6:44:14 PM]
*Know* yourself.
Hey, it''s Command & Conquer 14!

Just Smile and Nod...
I AM an Army of One... I just have 10,000 other Armies of One to back me up!
I don''t like it for two reasons

1. It is made up of pld ideas taken from various James Bond movies (your hero even has the same first name).
2. It isn''t believable because what would an American agent be doing sorting out an internal Russian problem. The Russians wouldn''t accept it, the American''s would have little motivation for helping them and the hero likewise.

If you make the hero a Russian (ex kgb or spetznatz) it becomes much more believable. You can then add in complications such as his coming to terms/making ammends for his dark past (kgb) in the new Rissia of today.

Dan Marchant
Obscure Productions
Game Development & Design consultant
Dan Marchant - Business Development Consultant
www.obscure.co.uk
Thanks for the input!

This topic is closed to new replies.

Advertisement