well im starting a story and i figured id let you people critique what i have so far. Somewhere Arizona may 20 1998 5:56 am The desert skie are vigilant, ever awaiting his chairot. Like clockwork the sun rises over Arizona's crimson sands. Potential energy dissipates and becomes kinetic, burning into every grain an increasing amount of warmth.It is slow to come, the night leaves footprints that sink deep beneath the sands. Alan Carver sits in the still damp grass of his backyard. The lights of the sun creep ever closer to him. He breathes. Exhales.Breathes.Exhales. Then for a moment he stops, everthing stops.The sun's light bursts through the very breath he released, and for a moment both day and night are in Alan's company.His eye catches the sun on a butterfly. As it flys upward he watches unflinchingly.It is in that moment, that hiccup of time, that Alan's life begins to change. post more yay nay? Critique currently? [edited by - vaneger on December 9, 2003 9:06:28 PM]

anyone?

<crickets>

this is actually going to be a 3d graphic novel, not a game. i would post it else where but this is the only place i know that is set aside for writing of anykind.