Writing is great! I like your structure and ideas. What's really weak about your piece is the production. There's not much change in dynamics at all. It may go between a 5-7 level of dynamic change where an action tune such as this really should have a great deal more changes. The issue isn't the writing itself. Your opening trill is BEGGING for a greater crescendo that it's given. Some of your brass figures in the middle are as well. And that ending should be a great deal larger. 

If you've maxed out your volume already then the trick is to go back and pare back where you can so there's more evolution. Spend some time with your samples, picking out ones that have crescendos, then if your samples also take in expression and modulation, tweak those parameters as well. Finally work in with your volume automation on each track. Even somewhat on the master track as well. This is, in my opinion, the biggest thing holding your track back. You also might consider some tempo changes here and there - as is appropriate. 

Again, your composition itself is GREAT! It just needs a great deal more production to really give it the impact and weight the writing deserves. I hope that helps. 

I was actually thinking of He's a Pirate when I wrote my critique. And I feel that He's a Pirate has more dynamics than your cue. Added edit: Instead of showing me "hey look, this piece DOES have modulation (i.e. dynamic changes) and does have tempo changes" I think a more effective response would be for you to consider that maybe what you're already doing isn't enough. I still feel that you can push the limits of this piece more. In short - you've got a great piece here... with mediocre production (to be honest and blunt). But you can fix that!! More ritardando into big changes, more dynamics. Maybe a good fix would be to add a bit more compression so the softs really come through and then allow your dynamic range to be increased via both the mod wheel and automation. And if the samples themselves are limiting you - it's time to get more creative. Try using some sine waves and blend them in for more fullness over all. And then for crescendos, you can push them up a bit more then bring them back in. It will help add more body. If you have any other sample libraries, you can bring those in for certain parts to help add that fuller sound you're after. On the mastering (or mastering bus) you bring up the overall level so it has more performance while having a good, overall volume. And the ending would be greatly served by a ritardando into the final hit. Not a major one but to really bring home the ending. Right now it just sorta runs right through that without any musicality added in. Your piece just feels too static on those accounts I'd already detailed. You can certainly disagree with me if you wish.

Hope that helps!

21 minutes ago, Chris Schmidt said:

In the first track I shared here when I joined, you praised the production of it. I don't feel this piece is much different in how it was made, it uses the same libraries and the same handling of dynamics, so that's why I'm digging into your critique further.

Your first track, Voltron, was a totally different style and set of instrumentation than this one. Different styles and settings of songs have different approaches or needs, IMO. 

7 hours ago, Chris Schmidt said:

Most of it is never at the highest dynamics and does have variance between the sections; most of this may be because the Cinesamples series in the Brass and Winds don't have a tremendous lot of dynamic layers. Now, the workaround (as you suggest) is the use of CC7 and 11 automation, which could be done, but the problem I've always had with that is its simply a volume switch and not a real dynamic so it just sounds like a forte part turned down rather than actually played quieter. You are probably right that the crescendos could be a bit more extreme.

Despite that, I would still say that a lot of fast, short tunes with a similar aesthetic are actually fairly consistent in dynamics throughout.

 

Another orchestrational trick is to not change the dynamics but adding more instruments like in the example.