Maybe these will help:

1) dump the "N"; that''s just waaaaaaaaay too cheesy, and will have everyone cracking Nintendo jokes;
2) don''t have the sword found in a cave, in a snowstorm, behind a hidden wall. Try the same story with a thief breaking into a mountain castle, finding an old sword swaddled in cloth. It doesn''t look like much, but might fetch a good price for the jewels embedded in the metal, etc.;
3) expand the story more. The sword is stolen, taken to a merchant in a little hamlet several leagues away. The merchant buys the sword, thinking with a bit of shine he could sell it for more. Now we jump to the Skywalker scenario: young son sees the sword, has a sword fetish, sneaks it out to the fields to play with. Mercs come looking for the stolen sword, kills the merchant, his wife, his dog, his chickens, etc. Teen comes back, has no idea what the hell just happened, but now is on the run. Teen is really adopted, sword is his legacy, it starts talking to him; it takes him a while to realize it''s the sword, thinks he''s going crazy.

It''s corny, but at least it''s a formula that works.

From there you can have him start discovering his legacy, decide how the whole demon thing ties in with the sword, and how his father/ancestor is tied into this whole thing. Call it Skywalker meets Frodo, but at least it''s the start of a "believable" story (however overdone it may be).

I realized I completely missed something I''d wanted to comment on before; you say you wanted an opinion on a video game idea...what''s the video game here? You offer up an opening cutscene, but where''s the game part?

If he''s a real writer he''s still got the will, regardless of what anybody could ever say.

And right now I''ve got the image in my head of zelda or SOM.

I did like the part where the guy who touches it first gets killed, that was a little unexpected. Got to love false prophets.

I wonder how old Zido is. That, and if he''s gonna come back to read his thread.

The man became corrupted, unleashing the power of the sword, one of the 6 powers of the world, to be used for good or evil. He learns of the other five, and quickly tries to unleash them from their places. He succeeds in releasing all 6, but when he pulls out the last sword from the last mountain, it starts to thunder, lightning strikes, and rain falls. The man suddenly feels cold and scared, like blood stops flowing from his veins. A spirit takes over him. The spirit flushes into him so fast that he dies, and becomes part of the spirit.

His son, who had stayed at home, dismayed by the fact that his father went on journeys without even telling him where he was going, read his journal. In it, his destination was revealed: Mount Durad. In the cold winter night, he ran towards Mount Durad. He reached the foothold of the mountain, and saw his father, fleshed into the spirit.

His father, Barahite, possessed by the spirit, was persuading him to take the swords, and reforge them in Mount Dargonye, a mere four hundred miles away from his homeland. Naturally, the spirit took over him too, flushing out his own spirit slowly.


Hehe, sounds kind of stupid. Somewhat like LOTR/Starwars reversed.

I say screw the monsters, or at least hold them off till later in the game. First have the character being chased by the family of the wealthy explorer who they think was killed by the new onwer, then when they are all defeated (1/3rd into game) the whole town realizes the power this man has and turns on him to recapture the sword. He gives it up but the one entrusted with it''s return and resealing isn''t trustworthy and summons the monsters to guard him. The first handler of the sword must now fight with companions from the town to regain the sword and once again decide if he wants to part with it.

quote: 2 don't have the sword found in a cave, in a snowstorm, behind a hidden wall. Try the same story with a thief breaking into a mountain castle, finding an old sword swaddled in cloth. It doesn't look like much, but might fetch a good price for the jewels embedded in the metal, etc.

hmmmmmmm, for telling Zido his idea is unoriginal, yours doesn't sound much better. Brings back fine memories of Shining Force 2, only with a sword instead of a jewel. Personally Zido, I like it, even if it isn't the most original idea. Hell, nowadays what is original. It has the effect of being a great game itself, while bringing back past memories of other awesome games.

He who laughs, lasts


[edited by - deadlydog on June 18, 2002 9:15:48 PM]

It`s Zido again. I have changed the story dramatically and I want to know if this is better.
On a wierd thundering night, the electricity in a small town starts acting up. Lights flicking on and off, applicances not acting properly, etc. Anyway, two scientists can`t understand why there is so much electricity in the air. Their energy advice suddenly picks up a huge energy surge in the woods outside of town. The two walk through the woods going toward the huge power. They stop in front of a big lake. Their device breaks all of a sudden and everything goes still. After a big silence, a big lightning beam comes up out the lake into the sky. The beam releases alot of lightning bolts onto the woods causing a big fire. During the comotion, a small spark shoots toward the town from atop the beam. Whike everyone is screaming for their lives, a guy in silver and blue-violet armor with a nocturnal-like eye band appears. He pulls out an electric producing sword with a symbol displayed on it.(not an N, glad now?) He looks toward the moon and gets really tensed.
Now, is this a better story? I like this story. Give me back a reply.