I decided that I needed another drink. I opened the cocktail, poured it in my mouth. After I finished, I felt something was wrong. I looked around the room, nothing wrong. Then I looked at myself. Suddenly I found out what was different! I could see my toes! In fact, I could see my whole shoe! I was no longer fat! It was a miracle! But what could of caused this? Mabye the coctail was an elixir of goodlooks?
POOF!
I woke up.
It was a dream
I was still a fat white computer hacker, no girl, and here i am in my two bit apartment with one room, which has a bed mattress with 1 sheet, a table with a computer, a huge pile of beer boxes in the cornor, and a small crappy tv which doesnt even have satellite. Reality hit me, hard...
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Write your own chunk...
The phone rang. I picked it up. It was Osama bin Laden. He spoke furtively like someone was about to ambush him.
"Hey man, I need 50 grand fast! The banks won''t lend me any money because the States have ruined my credit rating. Check''n''go won''t even lend me any money!" he said.
"Sucks to be you," I replied.
"Look man, I borrowed money from you before and I paid it all back, yes?"
"I dunno man. What do you need it for anyway?"
"I need to buy a new...
"Hey man, I need 50 grand fast! The banks won''t lend me any money because the States have ruined my credit rating. Check''n''go won''t even lend me any money!" he said.
"Sucks to be you," I replied.
"Look man, I borrowed money from you before and I paid it all back, yes?"
"I dunno man. What do you need it for anyway?"
"I need to buy a new...
Camel!"
"What? 50gs for a camel?"
"Yeah, well it''s tough finding people who will sell to me these days."
There was a thud, as suddenly something hit the window. It looked like one of those black birds that lives in this area. Suddenly, I realized it had all been a dream, as I looked through the front windshield of my jeep. I looked at the clock. It was 2:00pm. I had been asleep for 3 hours! I''m definitely going to be late. I put the jeep in gear, and headed down the path.
The air was hot and dry, and the golden sands stretched away in all directions, as far as the eye could see. The jeep hummed along the dusty track, and finally arrived at the campsite.
I don''t know entirely why I was there; except that this was Shanwell''s last known location, near to the dig site that he''d discovered. And now, he was gone - disappeared, like water in the desert. And I - for a fee - had been hired to find him.
-=Lohrno
"What? 50gs for a camel?"
"Yeah, well it''s tough finding people who will sell to me these days."
There was a thud, as suddenly something hit the window. It looked like one of those black birds that lives in this area. Suddenly, I realized it had all been a dream, as I looked through the front windshield of my jeep. I looked at the clock. It was 2:00pm. I had been asleep for 3 hours! I''m definitely going to be late. I put the jeep in gear, and headed down the path.
The air was hot and dry, and the golden sands stretched away in all directions, as far as the eye could see. The jeep hummed along the dusty track, and finally arrived at the campsite.
I don''t know entirely why I was there; except that this was Shanwell''s last known location, near to the dig site that he''d discovered. And now, he was gone - disappeared, like water in the desert. And I - for a fee - had been hired to find him.
-=Lohrno
I continued to drive around, looking for clues. There were few landmarks in this vast desert, and I began to feel like I was going in circles, in more ways that one.
Presently, I grew a bit thirsty. I stopped the jeep and looked in the back for water. The water tank was missing. Someone must''ve stolen it while I was sleeping. Damn. I was only 3.1415 miles from the nearest town though, so it was okay. I turned the key in the ignition, but the jeep wouldn''t start. I looked underneath the vehicle and the fuel tank was missing. Damn, they must''ve taken that while I was looking for water. This was turning into a very bad day. First Shanwell, then the water, then the gas. I couldn''t help but wonder if I was next.
I began walking toward the town. Before long, I tripped over a large, half buried bottle in the sand. I picked it up, hoping to find some alcohol in it, but I was surprised when a djinn appeared instead.
Presently, I grew a bit thirsty. I stopped the jeep and looked in the back for water. The water tank was missing. Someone must''ve stolen it while I was sleeping. Damn. I was only 3.1415 miles from the nearest town though, so it was okay. I turned the key in the ignition, but the jeep wouldn''t start. I looked underneath the vehicle and the fuel tank was missing. Damn, they must''ve taken that while I was looking for water. This was turning into a very bad day. First Shanwell, then the water, then the gas. I couldn''t help but wonder if I was next.
I began walking toward the town. Before long, I tripped over a large, half buried bottle in the sand. I picked it up, hoping to find some alcohol in it, but I was surprised when a djinn appeared instead.
the djinn spoke to me quickly
" Beer is very close to you ! , Be drunk ! "
Then it dissapeared.
I looked around for some beer, but then a click sound distracted me. I turned around and saw President Bush with a magnum. He pointed the magnum at my neck... I was tense... His finger started gripping the trigger...
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" Beer is very close to you ! , Be drunk ! "
Then it dissapeared.
I looked around for some beer, but then a click sound distracted me. I turned around and saw President Bush with a magnum. He pointed the magnum at my neck... I was tense... His finger started gripping the trigger...
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...I knew president bush wouldnt be travelling without his secret service ninja death sqaud, who jumped out from behind me! I knew there was only one thing i could do, so i reached down my pants and pulled out my...
[edited by - black_mage_s on April 24, 2002 5:21:06 PM]
[edited by - black_mage_s on April 24, 2002 5:21:06 PM]
underwear seam. As I saw the stunned faces on the ninjas and the President at my self-wedgie, I leaped into the air and flattened them all to the ground with a couple of slo-mo spin kicks. Then, I reached down and took the Prez''s gun. Not a Magnum, but a Des E. Sweet.
Then, I headed off to find
Then, I headed off to find
the resturant at the end of the universe, which was supposed to be situated somewhere in those deserted desert parts of the world. I picked up a katana, that had been dropped by one of the ninjas.
I felt the hot, dry breeze touching my skin. I turned on my jet-pack and lifted of the ground towards the sky. Then I stated that something that seemed to be perfectly normal was in fact not. The sky was
[edited by - E-we on April 24, 2002 6:33:32 PM]
I felt the hot, dry breeze touching my skin. I turned on my jet-pack and lifted of the ground towards the sky. Then I stated that something that seemed to be perfectly normal was in fact not. The sky was
[edited by - E-we on April 24, 2002 6:33:32 PM]
bleeding. Upward I soared, determined to figure out the nature of this strange phenomenon. Through wispy, moist clouds, past an english couple having sex on the wing of a jet airliner. THe earth was growing farther away, I noticed, but the sky seemed to be getting closer...like it wasn''t just air, but instead a cieling of some sort...what could be going on here?
Kicking in a last big boost from my jet pack, I
Kicking in a last big boost from my jet pack, I
ran out of fuel. Ah shite.
I felt my body slowly stop and begin its descent toward the hot, unforgiving earth. I wasn''t going slow for long.
As luck would have it, just before I hit the ground, a figure
I felt my body slowly stop and begin its descent toward the hot, unforgiving earth. I wasn''t going slow for long.
As luck would have it, just before I hit the ground, a figure
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